Tools & Resources

SAVE THE DATE LANGUAGE - There are soooo many ways to let you guests know about your big day! They can be traditional, formal, fun, playful and everything in between! So much language is available and this is a good place to set the tone as to what your event will be all about. It is the first chance to crack the window so to speak and let your guests get a glimpse of what you are planning.

THINGS TO INCLUDE - Names, date, location (usually city and state suffice...sometimes it is fun to keep the location under wraps to build the excitement). If you have a wedding website it's great to include it here as guests can find more information easily. Sometime accommodation information is included with block codes and notes about how far in advance to book and how many nights are required by each hotel. It is also common to include "invitation to follow" or "formal invitation to follow".

WHEN TO SEND - Sending save the dates 6-8 months in advance of the wedding is most common however for destination weddings where hotel booking and flights are a much adding some time would be ideal and maybe 8-12 months in advance would be good.

OPTIONS FOR WORDING - Most is shown above, however the text below provides further information on invitation + reply wording.  

HOST - This is the line that typically denotes who is hosting, or paying for the bulk of the wedding. Historically, this has been the bride’s parents. However, it is more and more common for couples to pay for their weddings themselves, or for the bride and groom’s parents to equally share in the cost. 

REQUEST LINES - The request line usually indicates where the wedding will be held. "honor or honour of your presence" (honour with a "u" spelled in the British-style) indicates a ceremony held in a house of worship. "The pleasure of your company" indicates the ceremony is taking place at a venue outside of a church or chapel. When both sets of the couple's parents are hosting, this line would specify "at the marriage of their children" along with listing both sets of parents in the host section.  

BRIDE & GROOM LINES - The bride's name precedes the groom. Historically, if her parents are hosting then she would be referred to by her first and middle names only. The groom is referred to by his first, middle and last name.  

DATE & TIME LINES - The day of the week is usually listed before the date. For formal events everything is written out in full, including numbers. Only the day of the week and the month are capitalized. Historically the first letter of the year is capitalized. No portion of the time line is ever capitalized. Time of day is spelled out using o’clock or half after "number" o’clock. Afternoon is any ceremony after noon and before five o'clock. Evening begins at five o’clock.  

LOCATION LINES - The street address is not usually necessary, unless the event is taking place at a private home or unlisted address. If it is included, the address should be written out in full without abbreviations. City and state should always be written out without abbreviations. Zip codes are not needed.   

RECEPTION LINES - Formal invitations historically include the reception time and location on a separate card. The reception information can also be included on the invitation if there is room. If the ceremony and reception will take place at the same location "reception immediately following" or other wording may be included at the bottom of the invitation. 

ATTIRE - The bottom left or right corner of the invitation is a common spot to provide some guidance to your guests on attire. Only the first letter of this line is ever capitalized on the wedding invitation   
Examples include:
White tie (long tail tuxedo for the men, full length ball-gown for the ladies)
Black tie (tuxedo or dinner suit for men, formal gown for ladies) Formal/Black tie optional (dark suit for men, floor length dress or evening pant suit for ladies)
Semi-formal (suit and tie for men, cocktail dress for ladies)
Cocktail attire (suit with tie optional for men, cocktail dress for ladies)
Resort casual or beach chic (collared shirt and slacks or linen pants for men, summer dress for ladies)
Beach Formal (summer suit with linen shirt for men and formal summer dress for the ladies)
Casual (dress pants with button down shirt or polo for the men and summer dress for the ladies)

EXCEPTIONS - For less formal occasions you may choose to move away from these guidelines as etiquette has relaxed over time. More and more it is personal preference for how you would like to word your wedding invitations.

REQUEST LINE - This is the line that requests a reply from your guests. There are several phrasing options, such as: “Kindly reply by...” or “Please respond by...” or "The favor of your response is requested by..." etc. that can be used.

DATE OF REPLY - The reply date will be selected based on a couple factors:
1) When the invitations are mailed and
2) Whether your venue needs a final count and/or meal selections by a specific date prior to the wedding.

It is important to check with your venue to make sure enough time is included for response. Chances are high that you will have follow up with a percentage of your invited guests to obtain their response. A good rule of thumb is to mail your invitations 8 weeks ahead of time with a response date 4 weeks ahead of the wedding.

THE M LINE - The “M” line on the response card is where guests will write in their names. The M itself is meant to designate the first letter of the formal salutation (Mr., Mrs., Miss or Ms.). It is most traditional to use the “M” line although you may opt to change it to "Name(s)". 

ACCEPT AND DECLINE LINES - The accept and decline lines are historically worded as “accepts with pleasure” and “declines with regret.” There are many other options you can use with varying degrees of formality such as “joyfully accepts” & “regretfully declines”, “will attend” & “will not attend", "wouldn't miss it" & "sadly can't make it" and more and more.

NUMBER ATTENDING AND MEALS - A “number attending” line may also be added along with a line for meal options which can include written out text or icons. The meal options section can be designated to have initials written in. This is helpful if your venue requires you to provide the headcount and meal count ahead of time or if you want to provide meal information on the escort cards.

ASSEMBLY - When you're ready to mail your wedding invitations, this is the proper way to assemble them into the envelopes:
1  | Lay your wedding invitation down with the wording facing up.
2 | Place your reception card, wording side up, on top of the invitation.
3 | Tuck your response card, wording side up, under its envelope flap and place on top of the reception card.
4 | Repeat this process for all other enclosure cards like accommodation cards.
5 | Place your invitation suite (all wording should face up) inside an inner envelope if you are using one. Or wrap your invitation set with a belly band, vellum wrap or ribbon, though it is not necessary to do this.
6| Place your inner envelope inside the outer mailing envelope with the front of the inner envelope facing you. 

WHEN TO MAIL - The standard recommendation for mailing your wedding invitations is seven to eight weeks in advance of the wedding. For destination weddings that require guests to book travel, sending the invitation suite 12 weeks in advance of the wedding is recommended with a reply by date roughly 6 weeks ahead of time. This gives guests plenty of time to decide about their travel and also give you plenty of time to plan your welcome gifts and other items for your guests upon their arrival. Please leave enough time in your planning to allow you ample and stress free time to assemble your invitations prior to mailing.   

B-LIST - It may seem rough but we all know when it comes to creating a guest list, it’s only natural to have an A List and a B List. If you’re planning on turning declines into an opportunity for someone else to join the festivities, send your wedding invitations 8+ weeks in advance. When you receive a decline (within 1-2 weeks of sending the initial batch of invites), send an invitation to someone on your B List, making sure those guests receive the invite at least one week before the RSVP date (you may want to order multiple RSVP cards with one set having a later reply date to accommodate invitations sent to your B List). Be sure to order extra invitations to account for the extras being sent and keep an eye on your guest count so you don't exceed your total guest count for your venue and/or budget. 

REGISTRY SHARING (the big no no on an invitation) - One item that should never be included on your wedding invitation is information as to where you and your fiancé are registered. Both traditional and modern etiquette experts consider this one of the bigger faux-pas. So how do you provide your guests with this information? Word of mouth was the most common way registries were shared with wedding guests, however, wedding websites are great alternative that can be used to make this information easily accessible. The registry information can also be shared on the bridal shower invitations.  

INNER ENVELOPE - Inner envelopes are historically used together with the outer mailing envelope, however it is becoming less and less common. If an inner envelope is included, the guest names are repeated inside and only the titles and or names are used (Mr. and Mrs. Williams or John and Mary) instead of the full name and address. Children’s names are listed on the inner envelope also, under their parents. If a plus one is invited, this is the place to note that (Miss Jennifer Jones and guest). Envelope liners are a great choice if you are also including inner envelopes as the liner will not be destroyed in the opening process.  

OUTER ENVELOPE - There are several guidelines for how the guest address on the outer envelope of the invitation should be written (I also provide a full naming guide when we are providing guest addressing services to help make the process easier)  

GUEST NAMES - The envelope should be addressed using the appropriate salutations, such as Mr., Mrs., Miss or Ms. If the invitation will be sent to a family, only the parents’ names should be included on the outer envelope (if an inner envelope is also being utilized), (Mr. and Mrs. John Williams). The children’s names would be listed on the inner envelope. If no inner envelope will be used and your would like to include that the children are invited, they can be listed on the second line on the outer envelope, under their parents’ names. For a couple not married but living together, the woman’s name should come before the man’s (Miss Jennifer Jones •• Mr. John Williams), each on a separate line. It is also fine to include them on the same line if there is enough space.  

ADDRESS - Traditionally, there shouldn't be abbreviations in the address, this includes the designations for Street, Avenue, Road, Lane, etc., as well as the state name. If your guest lives in an apartment, suite, etc., this should be noted on a separate line under the street address and the word, “Apartment,” should be spelled out. All that being said, we print the addresses as they are received on your addressing document as some events are more casual than others.  

RETURN ADDRESS - Traditional wedding etiquette has several noteworthy guidelines for the return address on the outer invitation envelope:  

Names - Traditionally, the name(s) of the sender are not included in the return address printing, only the street address, city, state and zip are used. However some people prefer to use their first names on the back flap or their last names or both depending on the style of formality of your invitation suite. The address used is based on who is hosting the event (if the bride’s parents are hosting, then it should be their address printed on the envelope flap.)  

City/State -  Both the city and state should be written out in full, without abbreviation (again this is traditionally but depending on the formality of your event you may want to alter this). The zip code should directly follow the state on the same line or on its own line below.